And Now, A Short Monologue From My Washing Machine

Hey Ciaran. I’m super stoked that you’re going away for two weeks to America! I bet you’re going to need some washing done. You don’t even own two weeks worth of clothing hah.

Well, no fear, I’m here! Just bang a load in, and after I’ve done with this one, I’ll do the other three/four you’ve got to do before you fly out! I’ll be the hero of the hour, after all, what else was I made to do!

Actually, you know what, I don’t think I can be bothered. Yes, I know I’m halfway through the first load of the ‘big holiday’ wash, but I’m tired. Yeah, come to think of it, I can’t be fucked.

I could spin it, but I’m not going to. I think I’ll just sit here, filled with soapy water, and a very important whites load. I don’t give two fucks that I was serviced only a month ago, I’m old. Go wring it out over the fucking bathtub like last time. Rip your hands open. I don’t care

No, I won’t even open the door properly either. I’m going to spill a shit load of water into your kitchen. Fuck you douchebag. I SAID NO. SERIOUSLY.


The Washing Machine – 26.07.12


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