Microwaves Ruin Everything… Except Advertising.

I haven’t got a microwave. I’ve never bought a microwave. I’ve never used a microwa… Sorry, I couldn’t even finish that sentence as it was a blatant lie, but the first two were true. You see, back when I still watched Power Rangers, my mother told me she never needed a microwave as all proper food can be cooked without it. For that reason and that reason alone, I’ve never actually bought a microwave because, hey, guess what, all proper food can be cooked without one. Sure, I used the ones in university houses, but only to reheat Dominoes pizza and make eggs in cups, so I don’t think that counts.

In fact, the only reason I moan about not having one in the flat now, is when I want to reheat something at lunch time. It takes forever if you’ve got a crappy electric hob, but that’s just life isn’t it. I’m sure if I actually owned a microwave, I’d end up getting drunk, and put something I’m really not supposed to in it.

Funnily enough, Adam and Joe told me to do exactly the opposite in 1997 when they created this bit of televisual history;

Marvellous! Of course it is! IT DOES STUFF.

Man, microwaves look fun! I bet they’d make great aids in an advertising campaign, but more importantly, a viral video! Oh. That’s right. This happened;

Terrifying. A genuinely spooky clip to advertise the evils of a certain cell phone network provider. There are some clever sods in this world aren’t there, and that was back in 2007 or so, about ten years after Adam and Joe microwaved stuff. Well, it’s 2012 now, and I’m looking for the next big thing in microwave video, and the funny thing is, I think I’ve found it;

Advertising Moe’s Southwest Grill, this fantastic little Youtube based video made to promote the fact that all of their food is microwave free, tries to demonstrate how those pesky little magic rays literally ruin everything. Guess what; stuff blows up.

Is it just me that wants to now find a microwave to put some soap in? That looked like it would be lots of fun!

Who knows where microwavable video will take us next, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be a camera filming for the world to see. Just do me a favour, and please don’t make it a person.

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4 thoughts on “Microwaves Ruin Everything… Except Advertising.

  1. Sian says:

    I remember microwaving crisp packets when I was little. They used to bubble up and shrink and we’d make keyrings out of them. It was the mid-nineties so we thought it was pretty cool.

    • Oh Sian. You are the coolest person I’ve ever known.

      Did it actually look decent as a keyring?

      • Sian says:

        Depends on your perspective. As a ten year old in 1994, it was one of the coolest things ever. It took a lot of persuading for my mum to let me microwave a crisp packet. She was scared it would explode when I was convinced it wouldn’t. When I actually did it though it was really scary as it sparked like hell. Don’t think I’d do it again.

  2. Kieran says:

    Namesake, you missed the point! You don’t need a microwaves because everything can be cooked without one – you need one because everything CAN be cooked in one! Eggs? Bacon? Potato? Crisp packets?

    I don’t think I could live without ours, especially now we’ve got A FRICKIN MICROWAVE STERILISER FOR REUBEN THAT ONLY TAKES 2 MINUTES.

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