So it’s 2012. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Isn’t the new year wonderful. Bells and fucking whistles… Yes, if you haven’t already worked out, I’m absolutely and definitely one of those annoying folks who instead of looking forward to the new year and planning how to improve themselves, I look back over the past year and tot up my failures to make myself feel even more pathetic. It’s a great quality don’t you know? Really gets the new year rolling in a positive direction.
2011 was the year I didn’t get a job. The same as in 2010, 2009, and the 21 years before that. Let’s be honest, we’re not going to count 1987 as that was the year of my birth, and I was pretty much an eating, shitting, and crying machine. You can’t really get a job with those kind of bullet points on a C.V, so we’ll strike it from the records.
“But Ciaran”, I hear you screaming, “Didn’t you start this blog to help you get a job? Wasn’t the idea to post once a day about anything and everything to gain some form of presence on this old internet thingy? To ‘sell’ yourself so to speak?” – In short, yes. In long, very much so, yes. Let us indulge ourselves in the mind and soul of the innocent minded, twenty three year old Ciaran Watkins and reminisce. What on earth did that prick have to say for himself?
“I’m a sucker for saying I’ll do something, and then never finding the time, and generally not giving a flying toss after the idea has fluttered to the back of my mind.”
“I guess that means I have six months to change my life, or at least sniff the smallest morsel of success somewhere. Maybe a pat on the head, or at least a well done from someone I respect, otherwise it’s straight to the centre of hopes and dreams with a patchy as shit C.V, where I will most likely be told that I am suited for a job in retail, selling footwear.”
“Ever since I was young, I always knew I wanted to be an art director / copywriter for an advertising agency, with at least one advert my mum can show people on youtube. Well, apart from when I wanted to be a train driver. I fucking love steam trains.”
“Hello, my name is Ciaran Watkins, and I am a perfect example of a child of the Internet Generation. Please help me.”
Well would you look at that, wasn’t I full of hopes and dreams. A shining beacon to one and all. A young pup with all the knowledge and prowess to get somewhere, but needing a kick in the arse to do so. I don’t really think that worked all that well. Do you? No? Funny that. Here’s a little run down to really put you at rest;
- I lost my way with the whole ‘one a day’ malarky. I then began to resent myself, and strayed from the path more and more.
- I got a job. As a supervisor. In a shoe shop. Flawless.
- I continue to want to work in the creative field, and I still want to show my mum something I made on youtube.
- I am still a perfect example of the Internet Generation, and I still need help.
- I also still love steam trains. They’re fucking boss.
Pathetic really, if you think about it. Here’s what I’m going to do though; not think about it. After all, today is a new day, and it just so happens to be the start of a new year, and if I remember correctly, some clever and wise old man told us that the world was going to end quite soon.
That solves it then! I’ve got a year to achieve everything I’ve ever wanted, but on the off chance I achieve nothing, it won’t really matter, as we’ll all be dead. I like those odds. I really do.