Big Sweaty Bears: Coors Light

Well would you look at this, a blog post. Amazing isn’t it. Straight into the action today, here’s the new Coors Light campaign that’s running through out the UK as I’m literally typing this.

Is that? Why yes. It’s Van Damme! It’s Jean Claude Van Damme… entirely out of character. Is it just me, or have these adverts completely missed the mark? This is Jean Claude Van Damme we’re watching here. The Damminator. The Dammster. The guy who should have been in place of Chuck Norris in that God forsaken internet meme. He played Guile for Heaven’s sake. I know he may be hard up on cash at the moment, as I can only assume every 80’s b-movie action hero is, but why on earth did he sign on for this particular script? Why JCVD. WHY.

This campaign should have mimicked the ever loved Old Spice ads. Van Damme doesn’t get “scared”. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word, or at least I don’t think such an action super star should be scripted to know the word. The writing sounds weak, and it makes JCVD sound weak. The beer is being sold off the back of said man, so you want him to sound as strong as possible. You want him to be Mr.JCVD, not the comedy relief in an average beer commercial. Yes, the ‘nipples’ thing is giggle worthy, and there’s a few smirks to be found in the rest of the writing but that’s not the point. I’m sure it’ll be reposted all over Facebook by drunk first year students who listen to dub-step, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. Funnily enough, just like dub-step.

The art-direction is wonderful, and the sweeping shots of the mountains really enforce the ‘cold refreshment’ of a Coors Light, and it’s amazing to see that JCVD looks like his character from Hard Target, which again makes me wonder why the ad isn’t “drink this to be like me”, rather than “laugh at me, then maybe drink this”. It’s a weak approach, and it under uses the star. Just look at this trailer;

I mean, shit the bed, I want to go and kick some guys off bikes, not think about a pair of tight trousers. I want the beer in the advert to be the drink of satisfaction, not a reminder of hard nipples. Bah, is it just me that thinks like this? Probably.

So yes, in summation, the advert isn’t actually that ‘bad’, I just think they creative team have criminally underused JCVD, and should have pushed the writing to the nostalgic approach to his previous action movie star status, rather than the washed-up action star route they appear to have chosen. Maybe that’s the joke though? If it is, it really back-fired on me. I don’t really like the ads, and I obviously don’t “get” them/it. JCVD saying the words ‘big sweaty bears’ just made me raise my eyebrow in disbelief, rather than laugh like I know the creatives will have hoped for.

Maybe I’m just picky? Maybe I don’t want my memories of JCVD tarnished? Maybe the writing is just as awful as I believe it to be? Who knows. For now, I’ll just go back to watching compilation videos on youtube, because that’s what everyone should do. JCVD is an man of b-movie legend, and not comedy relief; HE PLAYED GUILE.

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3 thoughts on “Big Sweaty Bears: Coors Light

  1. unwept says:

    For me the ad works – and it works really well – because, you know, it’s Van Damme. I mean, the guy was always taking himself way too seriously but, to everybody else I know, he was more of a figure of fun that any kind of role model. Yes, it wouldn’t have worked with, say, Schwarzenegger or Willis, or even Stallone, because they are still, if not stars, at least names, but Van Damme? Hell yeah! As you said, he played Guile! (For FSM’s sake, Kylie Minogue was in that movie!)
    So I think the effect of surprise, here, plays a big role in this ad. Nobody really expected that kind of self awareness from him.
    And “big sweaty bears”? Come on, that is funny! And I don’t think I ever listened to, dub-what already?…

  2. unwept says:

    I mean it, these ads have me rolling on the floor. A few days ago, I surprised myself several times walking like a penguin…

  3. Peric says:

    I think they`re great. People will remember them in years to come. Whoever thought it up was a genius. His delivery is great. His mannerisms are just marvellous. The ads are not meant to be analyzed. Just let them wash over you and enjoy them. If I were a betting person, I would bet that the following expressions will enter common day parlance – just think of the imaginative images conjured up by “big sweaty bears”, “cold nipples” and “man penguins”. They are as good as Arnie`s “I`ll be back”.

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